Is it really a fairytale?

I'm surrounded by numerous dating couples who are now taking their relationship to a higher level of commitment.  Engagement.  Marriage.  Children.  This whole "dating/relationship/soulmate" world is becoming a reality.  How are they sure that this person is "the one"?  Are there any doubts?  If so, at this level of commitment how do you even express doubt?  Maybe they just knew all along...

I personally don't believe it.  I feel like everyone is holding out for that "perfect" person/feeling.  This is a topic that is readily discussed but there's never a definitive guideline to follow.  People are unique and therefore each relationship is going to be different.  You can't really compare yourself to others.  Thus frustration is imminent.  Will you give the "right" person a shot or will you bypass your chance while constantly seeking that ideal...and end up alone?

I think it has to be brought down from an idealistic to a realistic stage.  What are the aspects of a relationship for which you are not willing to settle?  What are those smaller aspects on which you can compromise?  Certainly you shouldn't lower your standards in seeking a companion, but in the age bracket 20-40 yrs it all becomes too real way too fast.

I'm kind of a spectator on the sidelines of this topic.  I think the reason it all intrigues me is because I'm always telling myself: "Someday in the future you'll find the right person."  When is the "future"?  How in the world are my friends already getting married?!  It's a good thing I'm not one to freak out and find someone quick just to follow the trend.  From simple observation and listening I have gathered the following ideas:

1.  People fall into it or get out of it.  If both people are truly seeking a relationship for lifetime commitment...then they will know fairly quickly if it is "working out" or not.  Compatibility and their "make-it or break-its" will most likely gear the relationship at the beginning. 

2. It "works".  This is the realistic part that I was referring to earlier.  Do your lifestyles and goals work well together?  Do your morals/values align so that both people are becoming better versions of themselves?  I'm told that this is the comfortable stage.  You become best friends and know each other so well that you can't hide from each other. 

3.  Tested commitment.  I believe you have to get through the good and the bad in order to know if this person is the right one.  Getting through hard times via communication and arguments can really solidify a relationship.  If both people stick through the relationship even during the worst times...they are probably not going to give up that easily in a marriage. 

If all these things have to come to pass then the next natural thing to do is progress in the relationship. 

4. Can I see myself with this person for the rest of my life?  Well...this is it.  Is this my "special" person?  Everything seems to work and both people are happy.  They have been down the good and bad roads and have been there through it all.  So...naturally they go towards marriage.  See how I don't think it's all magical?  It really is an anti-climactic process.  It takes time, effort, tears, laughs, etc.  I think after a while you just realize it and go for it.  None of this "rushing to get married after the first few dates" business.  I think it takes years. 

I realize I am in no position to dish out long term relationship advice...but I do have the experiences of several of my friends so it's somewhat valid :)  I have been influenced by the A&M stereotype of getting married right out of college...but in a different way.  I just like to see stable couples (key phrase: stable) going through it and how they arrive at the decision of marriage.  I find it amazing to be honest.  I still feel so young with much more to learn and experience.  I am a planner/thinker and I like to know what I want in life...and I tend to follow through with it. 

So for me I'm at the "planning/thinking" stage and I like to see how other people are doing this...but not personally experience it quite yet haha.  I love being single because it gives me a chance to do some real soul searching and to figure out exactly what I want in a relationship. 

So take my amateur thoughts or leave them for now.  Feel free to check in with me in 10 years and see if I've had any personal experience on this topic :)       



 

Spare time! What?

My senior year has been great so far.  I made it a point to take my hardest classes the past two years so I could kick back and relax some my last year.  And it's working!  Last semester was bittersweet because it was Rebecca's last time in college station.  .  Trying to cover up the fact that she was going to be leaving me soon, we celebrated allll semester :)  I think I went out more than I probably have during my whole time here haha.  It was fun because we both got to relax and enjoy the things that we love to do! 

I love this one because it's awk and perfect :)

She has now moved out of our apartment and is student teaching in Austin.  I know now where I'll be next year and I'm already planning my move to Fort Worth this summer.  Reality has hit.

I'm ready to graduate.  You have no idea.  I think I had enough fun last semester to carry over into the spring.  All I want to do now is relax.  I think I'm at that weird transition stage where I'm crossing over into a new chapter of my life.  I don't quite fit in with either the "college" stereotype anymore or the "grown-up live on your own in a city" stereotype quite yet.  I graduate in less than 4 months and start school in 6 months.  I have an even lighter load this semester...or so it appears now.  I arranged my schedule so that I only have Tuesday/Thursday classes and have MWF off.  So what am I going to do with all this spare time??

My initial instincts wanted me to search for another fun class to take/look for a part time job.  I decided against this however after looking at my schedule starting July.  I'm going to make time for myself for once and not feel bad about it :) 

Two things that I LOVE to do but haven't had time for in college are: reading and cooking.  I think I'm going to actually make a dent in my book list and have fun with some recipes these next few months!  I would be training for either another triathlon or half marathon too but I have a temporary knee injury and well it's not letting me run at the moment :(  But that's ok because I've done all that before so now to make time for all those other neglected things. 

Currently reading: Plain Truth - Jodi Piccoult

Such a good book and I can't put it down!  I want to read a few more of her books because I like how she addresses a controversial issue today in each one.  I like to see many points of view on hot topics.

Next recipe: Pot Roast with parsnip mashed potatoes

Pot roast intimidates me mainly because of all the good pot roast I have had in my lifetime.  I have also had really tough and dry ones.  Claire Robinson on FN fixed it the other day and I thought..."I could do that!".  So I'm going to attempt my first one.  I think the key to a really good recipe is time and love :)  I will keep you posted.  

Current workout: Nike Women's Training App for iPhone

My sister found this one night, tried a couple of workouts and said it was fantastic!  She was sore for days.  So naturally I downloaded it and started doing a few of them.  Let me tell you...it's like having a personal trainer the whole time.  It's awesome!  I get bored with the same routine so this app is perfect because it has tons of different 15-45 min. workouts you can try.  It has three levels and both cardio and strength training.  I've been doing mostly the strength training because of my knee and I can feel stronger already.  You should try it!

I'll let you know my progress on my to-do list :)

     

 

Milestone 2: Following my heart

This is going to most likely be an unorganized string of ideas and thoughts so just a forewarning :)

Well milestone 2 accomplished: I FINALLY know where I will be going to medical school!

drumroll..........................................
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still curious?....................................
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UNT HSC in Fort Worth!

For those of you who don't know what the acronym stands for: UNT HSC = University of North Texas Health Sciences Center.  Different school than I told most of you the past month, huh?  The last most of you heard was that I was either going to be in Houston or San Antonio.  Yeah well let me clue you in to the past week of indecision and quite frankly torture...

Just a brief background on my decision making process.  1) I'm bad at it.  2) I like big names/reputations/flashy and shiny new things  3) I wait until the last minute to completely analyze each side until I'm forced to make a decision.

I have had my "heart" set on UT Houston for so long because of the reputation.  I saw myself walking the hospital floors of the biggest medical center in the world.  I knew if I told people that I was attending UT Houston that they would assume I was getting the best education.  I have practically grown up in the medical center my whole life (because of my mom) and it was like a second home to me.  I love big cities and was set on finding an apartment and "living the life".  So why didn't I pick it in the end?

Because I realized that my real passions that have driven me to pursue medicine were lying in another non-traditional medical education.  I was just scared to take the leap and not follow the crowd.

At UNT I will not be graduating as an MD (Doctor of Medicine)...but rather as a DO (Doctor of Osteopathy).  Both are doctors and go through the same education and amount of years in school.  Everything is practically the same except the philosophy of medicine.  DOs actually undergo more focus on the musculoskeletal system and learn how to practice OMM (Osteopathic Manipulative Medicine).  I am interested in pursuing a career in sports medicine so this will be of great help!  More info about DO is below:

Osteopathic Philosophy

I have two passions outside of standard medicine: nutrition and physical therapy.  I did not want to pursue either of those as a career..but I do want to integrate them into my future care of patients.  If you ask people who know my views on medicine, they can tell you that my hallmark phrase is: preventive medicine!!  It has been for several years...which is why I pursued a bachelor's in nutrition :)

I have also had a lot of experience with physical therapy over the years.  I was a patient for 6+ years and a PT tech for 3 years.  Therapy is where many patients see improvement and healing.  I loved seeing soccer players getting back into training, runners being able to run 50+ miles/wk again, and older patients regaining their way of life after a joint replacement.  Therapy is essential to medical treatment and I'm not willing to give up my beliefs.

An osteopathic education allows me to integrate both nutrition and manual therapy into my medical practice.  I have spent A LOT of time praying about why I wanted to become a doctor in the first place...and deep down I knew that UNT was my fit.  I was just scared to give up the "dream" in Houston.

I know I could not have made this hard decision 4 years ago...actually even a year ago.  Even though I will be going down the road less traveled...I am sticking to my passions for medicine...and sticking to what I believe.

I am following my heart...and it looks like it will be taking me to Fort Worth for the next few years!! 


PS: Did I mention my sister, brother-in-law and favorite kids live in FW?! Ya.....MAJOR BONUS!!  

Challenging road..

That's all for today.

1 day

Self-worth vs. Success: One and the Same?

Society today tells people that they must overcome great feats in order to be "someone" in the world.  They must have their life plan figured out and must do something unique and of importance.  At an early age many children are subject to great expectations.  When they fail, they are a disappointment.  Children grow up in this "robotic" world that is strict and sometimes harsh.  They grow up with this notion of having to excel at everything.  Parents, teachers, friends, etc. are very complementary and encouraging in their efforts.  Mere acquaintances will even venture to make statements such as "You are such a kind-hearted and wonderful person."  .....How do they know that?  What do they know about you?  ...you may sit there and think...Hold on, they don't even know me! But...do those questions cross your mind?  Of course not.  Little by little you let people make you believe that you are a good person because of what you're doing in life.  The truth is never revealed.

I did not take the time to think about this until this year.  Why so late?..Because I was always busy trying to accomplish yet something else!  What finally made me realize that my whole life I had been living this lie? Having hours upon hours of conversations about medical school...and only medical school.  Quite honestly, I'm tired of relaying the same information over and over again.  I know many people care about me and want the best for my future, but how about asking me something else?  Would they even know what to ask me?  For all people know...that's what defines my life right now.  This could not be further from the truth.

Acceptance and growth are who I am right now.  The way I have come about this has been through self-inquiry and prayer. 

Start by "seeing" how you handle life on a day to day basis.  Are you a leader/follower?  Do you make decisions quickly or are you indecisive?  Do you trust people or are you hesistant, why is that?  A temperaments quiz was suggested for me to take.  It is very reliable and is used by many.  You must sign up for an account (it's free).  Answer the questions as if you were 10 years old again, however.  You must show your natural tendencies without any biases you may have now.  Soon you'll start to realize different aspects about yourself that you may not have not noticed before.

After realizing all of this, the next step is acceptance and separating yourself from your work.  If you find yourself getting anxious about papers, exams, work, relationships, finances, etc...take a moment to tell yourself this: "What I am doing right now is NOT who I am...it is simply a task/worry that will resolve itself soon."  Try to put a wall between you and whatever hardship you're going through.  I know it sounds silly, but try it!  I finally did and it has made a world of a difference. 

And guess what?! You may be completely different than your career/successes portray you to be.  I know I am :)  Let's play a little game, shall we?  Based on the four temperaments: sanguine, melancholic, phlegmatic, and choleric (descriptions on the website)...which one/ones do you think I am?  Just comment below :)

The true value of a human being can be found in the degree to which he has attained liberation from the self - Albert Einstein