New horizons

My 1st semester of medical school at TCOM ended yesterday.  No words can describe how relieved I am.  It has been a long, tiring, and rewarding 5 months. Medical school is only as hard as you make it out to be.  You can either study enough to pass or try to memorize/understand everything possible and get hardly any sleep.  Guess which category I fall into?  Yeah...the Type A typical medical student.  Now how did all that go this semester??

Quite well.  When I look back at it all...I have no right to complain/worry...but yet I have some reservations.  You will see why soon.

A quick summary of my semester:

Block 1: Cell Science (6 weeks)
Block 2: Musculoskeletal System (6 weeks)
Block 3: Nervous System (5 weeks)
Block 4: Cardiopulmonary System (4 weeks)
All semester: Osteopathic Manipulative Medicine
All semester: Clinical Medicine/Interviewing/Ethics/Community Resources

I learned a lot this semester.  I performed my first head to toe physical exam and interview.  I learned a lot about sports-specific injuries through working with different physicians.  I learned how to read lots of different EKGs.  I was presented with my first geriatric 'patient'.  I learned how to cast arms and ankles.  I learned lots of different manipulative (manual) therapy techniques to use as alternative/complementary treatment for patients.  Like I said...I learned a lot.  I also made all A's...except in my last cardio block.  Missed a 4.0 this semester by 3 points.  Unfortunately disappointment was where I was at when grades came in. 

I am hard on myself because I know I can achieve my goals if I work hard enough.  It has always worked for me so  I have come to embrace this critical part of myself.  I maintained this mentality throughout this semester.  I worked into the early morning hours.  I worked all night without sleep sometimes.  I spent 14+ hours studying most days.  I did not eat well.  I did not exercise consistently like I'm used to (partly knee problems).  I did not make time for family or friends.  I did not make my faith a priority.  I just studied.  Day after day.

I know I am in medical school and I don't have a problem motivating myself to study most days.  I want to be the best doctor I can be.  Does that mean a 4.0 must be my #1 priority?  I'm starting to realize that grades are not the only things that make a great doctor.  An all-around compassionate, educated, professional individual who can interact and care for another human being is more important.  Also, grades/board scores are specific for each field you go into.  Wanna-be surgeons must have the top scores to get into a good residency.  I have decided (thus far) that the life of a surgeon is not for me.  Although I find it awesome and exhilarating, my heart is with patient care in clinic.  I also would like a family.  How many female married orthopaedic surgeons do you know without a dysfunctional family?? I'll stop there. 

Medical school is a big part of my life.  However, it is not my whole life.  My goals for next semester look a little different than those for this semester. 

I will take care of myself.
I will make time everyday to pray.
I will make more time for family and friends. 
I will let go of control a bit...


This post is kind of a big deal for me because I'm afraid of losing respect.  Why? I don't quite know.  I'd like to think that I work hard at what I do...only to fall short most times.  This is frustrating to me because I'm not in control of the situation. NEWSFLASH! I am not in control of anything, God is.  More trust, less control.

A beautiful friend reminded me of this: "God is closest to those with broken hearts," and "By seeing the seed of failure in every success, we remain humble. By seeing the seed of success in every failure we remain hopeful.”

Medical school humbles me day in and day out.  So much I don't know.  So much I can't grasp.  So many smart/caring people.  I am just in the midst of it all, not above not below.

Despite all of the realizations today, I know I'm immensely blessed and will always be grateful :)

So now 2 weeks off to spend with family and friends :) Pure bliss.  I will soak up every second of it.  Excited.