Everyone looks forward to holidays. Going home to see family, vacations, lots of great food and parties..the list could go on. Most people have christmas memories from their childhood. Most of them involve playing around with their siblings and causing trouble. Memories can even consist of meaningless situations..but it's who you're with that makes the memory beautiful :) Out of all the blessings God has given me..unfortunately this is just one that he did not give me: a big family.
I love my parents dearly and I am so very grateful for our little family, so don't misunderstand. I just miss having several brothers and sisters. I have the best sister in the WORLD..but unfortunately we didn't grow up together and now we live hours apart. She now has her own family. I'm sad that we could never share those memories.
Holidays are always very quiet for me. Good quality time with my parents...but after a while you just run out of things to do/talk about. I get myself down a lot when I see my friends spending a lot of time with their siblings and I don't have that to go home to. This is why I want a big family after I get married. I want my kids to form those lasting memories and relationships. I want my family to be loud and crazy with kids running around screaming. Life is a mess anyways so why not jump into it? :)
So I don't have that big ideal family...but I've learned to love and appreciate what I have been given. Wonderful parents who love me unconditionally and a sister who is always there for me. I have turned this christmas into a big thanksgiving for the wonderful family and "family-like" friends that God has put into my life. I am really a lucky girl :)
In the meantime I'll just wait. Hopefully I get my big crazy family :)
So I love to hear what families do for the christmas holidays. What is your favorite family tradition?
Friday, December 24, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Answered prayers..
So for those of you who don't know, February 1st is the day I will find out exactly where I will be going to medical school in 2011. This process has been SO trying on my patience. I started gathering together information for the application process starting in September 2009. It is now December 2010 and I STILL do not know where I'm going. Even though I have been relatively good the past year at keeping my calm and trusting God...there are times when I just can't handle the uncertainty anymore and I just break down. Yesterday was one of those days...
I was on the way to the gym when I heard a song with lyrics that I could relate to at this point in my life. I started getting frustrated about my future and my "life plan" and just started crying. I have not learned to love the uncertainties in life yet to say the least. I am such a planner and a "slight" control freak. I am used to always knowing what's going on at all times. So now you can see why this has been such a test of my faith :)
So I pulled myself together and started working out to get rid of all my nonsense. Running ALWAYS makes me feel better. Maybe that's why I run so much! Most girls right now find boyfriends for support...but I just run :) Well it didn't work yesterday. I started crying while I was running! Now how's that for embarrassing? I could not pull myself together for some reason. I just felt like my world was collapsing. So I changed the music I was listening to and finished my workout.
I got in my car and noticed I had an email in my gmail account (med school). I stared at that notification for what seemed like a minute and finally decided to open it. It was an acceptance letter from UT San Antonio, my #2 school!! I was in shock. I thought the pre-match season was practically over so I had not been expecting any more offers from schools. I immediately started screaming at the top of my lungs and then crying allll over again. That was totally God answering my prayers :)
He seriously knows how much I can handle. I think I was at my breaking point yesterday. The little miracle of answering my prayer SO FAST was amazingly beautiful :) It's moments like these that make me realize that no matter how alone or confused I feel...God is always there holding me. For those of you going through rough times in your life...just trust. Prayers are all heard and answered. All you can do is pray for patience and wait...
So now I know I will either be in Houston or San Antonio next year. How's that for a little more certainty? :)
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer"
- Romans 12:12
I was on the way to the gym when I heard a song with lyrics that I could relate to at this point in my life. I started getting frustrated about my future and my "life plan" and just started crying. I have not learned to love the uncertainties in life yet to say the least. I am such a planner and a "slight" control freak. I am used to always knowing what's going on at all times. So now you can see why this has been such a test of my faith :)
So I pulled myself together and started working out to get rid of all my nonsense. Running ALWAYS makes me feel better. Maybe that's why I run so much! Most girls right now find boyfriends for support...but I just run :) Well it didn't work yesterday. I started crying while I was running! Now how's that for embarrassing? I could not pull myself together for some reason. I just felt like my world was collapsing. So I changed the music I was listening to and finished my workout.
I got in my car and noticed I had an email in my gmail account (med school). I stared at that notification for what seemed like a minute and finally decided to open it. It was an acceptance letter from UT San Antonio, my #2 school!! I was in shock. I thought the pre-match season was practically over so I had not been expecting any more offers from schools. I immediately started screaming at the top of my lungs and then crying allll over again. That was totally God answering my prayers :)
He seriously knows how much I can handle. I think I was at my breaking point yesterday. The little miracle of answering my prayer SO FAST was amazingly beautiful :) It's moments like these that make me realize that no matter how alone or confused I feel...God is always there holding me. For those of you going through rough times in your life...just trust. Prayers are all heard and answered. All you can do is pray for patience and wait...
So now I know I will either be in Houston or San Antonio next year. How's that for a little more certainty? :)
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer"
- Romans 12:12
Friday, December 17, 2010
Inspirations
Hello blogging world! I have been wanting to start a blog for a few months now, but have not had a good reason to until now. I am a senior at Texas A&M University in College Station (WHOOP!!) and sadly graduating in May. I will be starting medical school (somewhere..?) in 2011. This will be a brand new chapter and big transition in my life. My life will more or less be locked in place for the next 7 years at least. I bet all of you are thinking I'm insane right now. Well possibly..haha we'll see. Medicine has been my drive and passion for as long as I can remember so at least I'm signing up for something I love, right?
My main inspiration for starting this blog, however, comes from the beautiful people God has let me grow close to this past semester. They have shown me how much I have grown from my initial steps as a freshman to my last aggie football game. I was told before college that people "find their true selves" in college. Well I am not a fan of cliches, so I chose to ignore it. Surprisingly, I have to say that this could not be more true. I conformed to those around me in high school. Most of this stemmed from the fact that our school was so small. However, I chose to change my life in college.
I put God first and foremost in my life in August 2007. I was scared about making friends and the hard journey ahead. I was away from home. I had noone to lean on for the first time...and that's when I started fully depending on God for everything in my life. It's amazing how laying that foundation first suddenly allowed me to face my fears. I was not conforming for the first time and it was such a feeling of relief and peace. I made the most amazing friends that supported me and helped me grow in my faith. Basically my first year I dedicated to spiritual growth and education, because school was not challenging me...yet.
The next two years are honestly blurs to me. All I remember doing is studying and studying...and more studying. I had all my hardest classes my 2nd and 3rd years. I did this on purpose so I could enjoy my senior year. You may be asking...was it worth all the tears?? Yes. Best decision I've ever made.
Finally, senior year. This semester was truly amazing. I finally started nurturing old friendships and making new ones. The new ones that I made, however, changed my view on life. The past three years I have grown to be quite independent...with a touch or so of feminism. I believed that I didn't need men or deep friendships for support. I believed that I would succeed quite well by myself. It has worked so well for me so why change things? Well little did I realize that I was just scared of opening up myself to anyone for fear of being disappointed or hurt. When I finally let someone in this year, it made me realize what beautiful people are out there for me to learn from. My friendships this year have renewed my faith in love and relationships. This blog will help me continue this journey of melting my heart to let others in. I am open to any and all comments and hopefully I can touch some hearts as well :)
My main inspiration for starting this blog, however, comes from the beautiful people God has let me grow close to this past semester. They have shown me how much I have grown from my initial steps as a freshman to my last aggie football game. I was told before college that people "find their true selves" in college. Well I am not a fan of cliches, so I chose to ignore it. Surprisingly, I have to say that this could not be more true. I conformed to those around me in high school. Most of this stemmed from the fact that our school was so small. However, I chose to change my life in college.
I put God first and foremost in my life in August 2007. I was scared about making friends and the hard journey ahead. I was away from home. I had noone to lean on for the first time...and that's when I started fully depending on God for everything in my life. It's amazing how laying that foundation first suddenly allowed me to face my fears. I was not conforming for the first time and it was such a feeling of relief and peace. I made the most amazing friends that supported me and helped me grow in my faith. Basically my first year I dedicated to spiritual growth and education, because school was not challenging me...yet.
The next two years are honestly blurs to me. All I remember doing is studying and studying...and more studying. I had all my hardest classes my 2nd and 3rd years. I did this on purpose so I could enjoy my senior year. You may be asking...was it worth all the tears?? Yes. Best decision I've ever made.
Finally, senior year. This semester was truly amazing. I finally started nurturing old friendships and making new ones. The new ones that I made, however, changed my view on life. The past three years I have grown to be quite independent...with a touch or so of feminism. I believed that I didn't need men or deep friendships for support. I believed that I would succeed quite well by myself. It has worked so well for me so why change things? Well little did I realize that I was just scared of opening up myself to anyone for fear of being disappointed or hurt. When I finally let someone in this year, it made me realize what beautiful people are out there for me to learn from. My friendships this year have renewed my faith in love and relationships. This blog will help me continue this journey of melting my heart to let others in. I am open to any and all comments and hopefully I can touch some hearts as well :)
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